Life happens incredibly fast and right now my life is proving that to me. Just about four months ago I moved back to my hometown from college, got a job as a barista at a local café, and was in the midst of planning my own wedding with the love of my life.
Today I am 35 days away from getting married and I am searching for rental properties and for a new barista job in another town.
Approximately three days ago we decided that once we get married we are going to move in together, as we planned, but in a new town. My fiancé currently lives there but we are both going to need new jobs and somewhere to live. We have just around a month to find all these things.
Here is where it gets interesting. Also recently, my relationship with God has flourished. Why? Because nothing has gone right.
It is as though every part of my life is a puzzle piece but I keep pulling pieces out of boxes for different puzzles and trying to mash them into my own. As you can imagine, it isn’t working.
Now, every evening my fiancé and I pray together. Whether it has been a good day or a bad day we take the time to be still and speak with the lord. Here are a few of the things going wrong that we were praying about:
- By moving back to our hometown we would be leaving a very strong community. Our friends where we were thinking of moving to have spent every second together with us supporting us as individuals and as a couple. They complement us and are not afraid to tell us when we are being ridiculous or unreasonable. In turn, we have done the same.
- The living situation in our hometown was not panning out. Whether it was monetary or personal taste it felt like the world was fighting us and everyone trying to help.
- We are getting married. That ish can be scary.
We were feeling so much anxiety and so much uncertainty that we turned to who we should have from day one, God. It came to a point where I finally just let go and said, God, where do I need to be for you?
This past week we went to a bible study that just formed with a group of our friends in the town where we were thinking of moving. This was only my second or third time going. It is held at a local brewery and some of the members include metal band artists, business managers, reptile wranglers and those like myself. It’s an odd mix of people but we are all searching for the same light.
At this last meet-up, the conversation was focused on humility. Somehow, every fear I was having about moving to a new town was brought up in discussion. None of it was geared to my current situation but all of it could be applied. In that moment I felt I was being called to move to this new town. My religious roots there are growing. My community, friends, and fiancé are all in joy there. I am in joy there.
The sudden change is scary and I worry about upsetting others. What makes me feel solid in our decision is two things. The first is that ultimately, and unknown as to why to me, God is calling me to a new place and I feel it is my duty to listen. The second is that I feel so much joy when I am there.
Getting a new place, getting a new job, and ultimately starting an entirely new chapter of life based on me and my soon to be husbands own financial situation are all huge elements to face at once. But I continue to pray for support.
I’m lucky that this new place is not even two hours from home. I am lucky that friends have offered us a place to stay if we need it. I am lucky that I am marrying a man who wants more than anything in this world to support our life together.
If you have experienced the exasperating feeling of major life changes, do you have any advice? Above everything, I am still excited and for that I do not feel too worried.