Experiencing friendship is one of the greatest parts of life. Getting to know people and their stories is how we learn more about this world without having to personally do it all. Having someone to talk to and have fun with is beneficial to living a joyful life. However, one downside to friendship is that we risk it ending. Some people might argue that risk isn’t worth it, but I disagree.
From late middle school until the end of high school I had a very close friend and like many people with friends from high school, our friendship fell apart. You could say we ended on an okay note but the process getting there was harsh. She was one of my few female friends which made our relationship that much more important to me. I could talk about things with her that most of my friends, being male, couldn’t always understand.
Since then I have struggled with making new friends that are female, especially ones that I feel I will really be able to grow close to. Thankfully not all girls had the same experience as me and were more welcoming to a new friendship than I may have been. College brought so many amazing, strong women into my life and showed me that not everyone will treat you the same way. The upside to good friendships, they can help you get through bad ones.
Now, my husband and I, just recently married (Woot! Blog posts coming soon!) have moved to a new town. We have made so many friends already that I can’t believe fell into our lives so quickly. However, there is one girl I’ve met that shares many interests with me and is super kind. She has invited me out with her and we have had great conversation. Despite how much I appreciate her, that small voice in the back of my head is telling me not to get close.
Here is what I have to say back to that small voice.
Without that broken friendship from before I would not know the many signs there had been to show us something needed to be fixed or that something was wrong at all. I know for the future how to realize when something needs attention and how to approach it with ease.
Before the friendship fell apart we experienced many great memories together and no matter how far apart we are now, I can cherish those memories from before and look forward to more like that with other great people. Change is hard, but when we can expect change and know why it happens, it’s easier to get through.
Most importantly, I understand the importance of being confident with yourself. People will come and go in your life. Not everyone will leave. Chances are higher of people moving away for a better part of their own life or something similar rather than them breaking apart from you in a rigid way. No matter how small the chances are of people leaving, if you have confidence in yourself and appreciate some time alone, you can feel okay.
We can always hope people won’t leave, but God does everything for a reason. If you have put in the effort to try to salvage what was there and know you gave them the best you had, something new is just coming along for you.
These are little lessons that have taken me a while to learn. Everything takes time. As much as I can feel that push against this new friendship I have forming, I’m not going to push it away unless it seems toxic. While God takes some people out of our lives for a reason he also introduces us new ones for a reason. Know that you are worth finding happiness and friendships to share with in that joy.